Before you run into your Prince Charming, you simply have to kiss a few frogs. How do you know is he a player, a fuckboy who only wants to take advantage of your love for him to get what he wants? Girls need to stand together, right? I made this list of the 13 most definite s of a player to help you recognize him on time and dump his lame ass before he breaks your heart.
Whether we like it or not, before we meet our Mr. Perfect, most girls nowadays have to deal with at least one player. Someone who will teach you all the hard lessons about love and dating.
1. they’re dishonest
Someone who will help you appreciate the nice guyonce he comes into your life. Of course, no girl would ever get herself involved with this type of asshole if she could only see his true colors in time. Nevertheless, that is impossible. Or is it really? One of the most obvious s that your man is actually a player is if he behaves differently in front of other people than he does when you two are alone.
It means that he wants to keep you but not because he is in love with you, but because he wants to take advantage of you. I think this is so obvious but I have to mention this too. So, how to know if he is a player? If more than half of these s he is a player apply to your boyfriend, the situation is more than obvious, as much as you try to deny it. One of the first red flags that a guy is actually a player who will hurt your feelings is his dishonesty and shady behavior.
When you come to think about it, you know nothing about this man, and you have very little information about his whereabouts. Does he always go out to answer his phone and never talks to anyone in front of you? Does he follow a lot of unknown girls on social media? Does he hide his phone and make sure he never leaves it out of sight? Does he hide his Snapchat and Instagram stories from you? Do you have any access to his social networks?
Does he act like a suspect in a murder investigation and avoids eye contact whenever you try to find out more about his daily activities? Does he accuse you of being too nosy when you ask him a normal question? Is his body language telling you he is hiding something?
Stop lying to yourself, and look the truth in the eyes! One of the most appealing characteristics any guy can have is high self-esteem. You see, the worst thing about players is that they are always incredibly charming. When a guy is a smooth talker and when he is a master of flirting and texting, it is clear that he has some experience.
Not only that, but this man is also perfectly aware that he can get almost every girl he puts his eye on. All of us have the right not to share the details from our pasts with our new partners. So, your boyfriend is in no way obligated to tell you every little thing about his exes or to spill out all the weight of his emotional baggage right in front of you.
It should be normal for you to know things such as when his last serious relationship ended, how long his longest romance lasted, and what type of girls he usually dated. You never heard him mentioning one of his exes or telling you something more about his love life in general.
What is he hiding? What is he afraid of? Is it possible that he was actually a jerk towards all of his girlfriends and that he wants to prevent you from finding that out? That he cheated or ghosted most of them and that he is scared that his mask of a good guy would fall off if you ever became aware of that?
When a guy is playing you, you never know where you stand with him and what to expect the next day. He keeps playing hot and cold gamesand before you know it, you catch yourself trying to decode his intentions and trying to get to the bottom of his personality.
At first, this seems like all fun and games, and you might even find it interesting and exciting. Nevertheless, all of this changes overnight, and the very next day, he starts behaving like a completely different man. Did I do something wrong and what made him change his behavior so drastically?
Another warning that a man is playing you is the fact that his behavior is nowhere near his words. When you first meet this man, he is a good guy who gives you lo of empty promises and bullshit lies, which you of course fall for.
However, after a while, you realize that all of these sweet words were nothing more than his sneaky way to get under your skin, inside your heart, and into your bed. When this happens, he turns into the best guy ever, and he keeps telling you that he will do anything just to have him back. In fact, he always acted completely the opposite, and as soon as he gets another chance, he goes back to his wrongdoings. So, what other proof do you need before you realize that he is nothing but a player who will break your heart?
What makes a guy a player?
A trait that is common for most guys who play games is that they have trouble making things official. If your man refuses to call you his girlfriend and if he uses vague terms about your relationship, things are pretty obvious. This way, he wants to avoid all the new relationship drama. After all, you two are not in a committed relationship yet and that gives him the chance to continue his life as a bachelor and have complete freedom to do whatever the hell he wants.
In fact, this gives him the liberty to talk to or even hook up with other girls without it being called cheating and without you being entitled to say anything. You really did accept this status quo, and you really did settle for not having a title. And this is something he never fails to remind you of whenever you try complaining about his behavior. According to dating coaches, all players are chronic commitment-phobes.
What is a player man? definitions and examples
They run away from obligations and never make future plans. Instead of running for the hills, every time you hear this lame excuse, deep down, you are even flattered. No, he is not a lost little boy who needs your guidance and who spent his entire life waiting for you to show him what true love is. He is not emotionally broken or traumatized. He is an asshole who is playing with you!
However, a guy being crazy about your bedroom skills is one thing, and having an entire relationship based on meaningless sex is completely different. Sex is the only thing he will be interested in. He never wants to meet up during the day or take you out on a date. Did he do something special for you? He never threw you a romantic gesture or a surprise. After you two are done, his body language completely changes. Pay attention to this and if this is something you can relate to, relationship experts say it is a telltale this man is only after one thing.
When a guy is crazy over youhe is interested in your opinions and attitudes, and he wants to get to know you as much as he can. Not only that, but he also wants to make you a part of his life: he wants you to meet his best friends and family, he tells you about his job, and he includes you in his hobbies. Every relationship expert will tell you that when a man is genuinely interested in youhe will proudly show you off to everyone in his surroundings. Besides, not giving you access to his life and daily routine makes it easier for him to dump you whenever and however he feels like it.
The less information you have about him and the fewer friends you have in common, the easier it will be for him to ghost you and disappear without any explanation. It is a fact that you feel like his second choice and that he never gave you the place you deserve in his life. You are the one who will always wait for him and the one who has spent numerous nights with her phone in her hand, hoping until the last minute that he will come as he promised.
Even if your player had the decency to label your relationship, he is still not faithful to you.
However, being faithful is much more than not having sex with other women and much more than not engaging in physical contact. He refuses to uninstall his dating apps or to unfollow a bunch of girls on Snapchat and other social media. You see him checking out other girls and making eye contact with them, even in front of you.
Is he a player? 13 warning s a man isn’t serious about you
If everyone around you including your best friends who definitely mean you well are advising you against being with him and telling you to stay away from this jerk, maybe you should listen to them. If people keep telling you that he has a reputation of using girls as booty calls and of jumping from one bed to another, there is probably something more in that. You are constantly scared about getting your heart broken, and you doubt even the ones you should trust.
Unfortunately, we are all aware that the dating scene these days is everything but normal. And I hope even more that the answer is negative. Honest and good guys have become such a rarity these days, so you should really consider yourself a lucky gal if you have managed to find one. On the other hand, if you have realized that your man is actually a player, I would like you to listen to this dating advice…. You loved him so much that you allowed him to play with you.
Now you need to love yourself enough to leave him and to never, ever look back. If you want to take a sneak peek into the male mind, our relationship expert Selma is here to guide you through the process. She explains the good and the bad side of male behaviour through the female perspective and gives women precious dating advice. Martha Sullivan. Christine Keller. Selma June March 10, Share article. Leah Lee August 12,