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Is there any topic more complicated than sex? At one level, sex is pretty simple. At another level, sex is a gateway to our deepest human longings—for connection, for escape, for pleasure, for validation, for power. These toxic messages meet up with the inescapable truth that sex evokes profound vulnerability—physical and psychological nakedness. And the result is a perfect storm of struggle!

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Many of us will go through periods of abstinence later in our lives and the thought of engaging in sexual activity again can spark feelings of insecurity.

There are a variety of reasons why someone might have experienced an extended amount of time without having sex divorce, a breakup, the loss of a loved oneor difficulty meeting the right person and often by the time we get round to having sex again it feels as if we are back to square one with our sexual confidence. She helps her clients overcome sexual shame and anxiety, achieve sexual confidence, and create pleasure-filled intimate relationships.

She is the creator and host of the Get Sex-Smart podcastwhich offers expert information and guidance to listeners around the world.

5 ways to be more sexually confident, according to a sexologist

So to help anyone who is feeling less than empowered about the idea of a new sexual encounterwe asked Dr Chuba to give us some practical advice on how to feel less nervous and more confident when starting a new sexual relationship. Each new relationship offers a promising beginning, which means an opportunity to do things differently and better than before. What partners were the most memorable, and why?

What would you like to do differently this time around? For example, would you speak up more about your need for sensual foreplay, or share more of your sexual imagination with your partner?

Getting clarity around your needs and boundaries will help you start a new sexual relationship in a more proactive way, which in turn will help you feel more safe and grounded. The more you know about what turns you on and helps you experience pleasure and orgasm, the better.

Reacquainting yourself with your body in this way will help you to first accept and then to gain confidence when it comes to being with someone else. It's easy to forget the positive things about our body when we are feeling insecure and focusing on the parts we don't like as much. It's important to note that you should always consider seeking professional help for specific sexual concerns, like trouble experiencing orgasm with a partner, early ejaculation, erectile difficulties, or performance anxiety.

11 ways to boost your sexual confidence

Working with a sex-positive, compassionate professional can be a huge boost to your sexual confidence. Speaking up improves your chances of getting what you want from your sexual relationship; and being accepting of your partner will make him or her feel special and appreciated.

Either way, you will come across as a generous and thoughtful lover, which is sure to boost your self-confidence. Speaking up improves your chances of getting what you want from your sexual relationship. Whenever we begin a new relationship, especially after a long time without partner sex, we tend to feel anxious about things like our attractiveness; our size, shape and weight; and how well we will 'perform' during sex. Whenever you feel yourself getting caught up in performance pressure, focus instead on your body sensations.

One unexpected benefit of having more sex

Breathe deeply and if need be, slow down. Pay attention to how things feel as opposed to how perfect you appear to be. As a bonus, a lover who is focused on pleasure and sensuality comes off as a lot more empowered and confident than someone who is insecure about their 'performance'. Sex can be complicated and intimidating at the best of times, let alone when we've been celibate for an extended period.

Does sex increase your self-esteem?

Because of this, we tend to forget that at its core, sex is about connection, pleasure and fun. And since partner sex happens between bodies, it can also be a messy, embarrassing and unintentionally hilarious experience.

Using this as a point of connection with your lover, rather than something to be ashamed of, can help you lighten things up. Chances are your partner is also feeling nervous, so bonding lightheartedly over your shared anxiety and the absurdity of it all can be both relaxing and very, very sexy. Parenting Mental health Healthy eating Conditions Follow.

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How to build your sexual confidence

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