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Not everyone using online dating sites is looking for love. Scammers create fake online profiles using photos of other people — even stolen pictures of real military personnel. They profess their love quickly.

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Having navigated my fair share of cheesy pick-up lines and bad dates, I know from experience that online dating can be just as complicated as dating IRL. You can display your hobbies, interests, pastimes, friends, or family if you want to.

While judgment can be an unfortunate result of the quick swipe-left-or-swipe-right decisiontry to look at what they are choosing to highlight about their personality through their profile picture. Are they showing off that they can rock a keg stand or that they traveled to Fiji and swam with stingrays?

How someone initiates a conversation with you will say a lot about how they view you as a person and how they might treat you as a partner. Did they comment on your body in a sexual manner or did they ask you what breed your cute dog is in your picture? You may get your fair share of cheesy pick-up lines, some can be endearing and charming while others can be crude and demeaning.

Humor can be a wonderful icebreaker, but also remember you are worth more than a lame pick up line.

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Someone who truly wants to get to know you will take the time to do so. After the initial ice breaker conversation, what does the rest of the conversation look like? Your first few conversations with someone new should be easy going. Additionally, if someone is giving you a checklist right away of all of the things they want in a future partner, this may be a red flag for some controlling behaviors.

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In a healthy relationship, you should feel free to be you. My friend agreed to go out with someone she met online and they had a really great time together.

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They got dinner and talked for hours, and it was overall a very nice date. She was excited to see him again and he seemed just as excited.

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They made plans to go out again, but he canceled last minute, saying his cat had died. After giving him some time to cope with his cat passing away, he made plans to see her again and she was thrilled. He canceled the date last minute again because he said his grandma had died. Although this seemed too tragic to be true, she gave him the benefit of the doubt that he was telling the truth. He disappeared for a couple of weeks. When he finally reached out again, she agreed to go out with him and they had yet another wonderful date.

At the end of the date, they took a cab back to his apartment. As my friend stepped out of the cab, a girl walked up to her shouting. Surprised and confused, my friend asked her what was going on.

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It turns out this girl was the girlfriend of the guy my friend was currently on a date with. Looking back more closely at their conversations, it seemed more and more obvious that the s of him lying and manipulating were there all along. He would only text at certain times of the day, he would disappear for days on end, and he used excuse after excuse to delay each date to assure his girlfriend would not be around. Moral of the story: mystery can be fun but it can also be a that someone is hiding something.

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Trust your instincts. First impressions can be revealing.

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One example is if they are making demands early on, maybe to meet or hang out at their place rather than go out somewhere together. Another example could be if they expect you to change your schedule just to accommodate theirs, or to cancel existing plans to meet them.

6 things to look out for when online dating

These types of behaviors can be the beginning of other controlling behaviors. First dates should be exciting and flirtatious. This person should make you feel special, respected, and valued. Most importantly, your safety is the one priority. Always meet in a public place for the first couple of dates. Another way to stay safe is to tell a friend, or multiple friends, when and where you are going out.

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Have them call you at a certain point throughout the date and if the date is not going well, use the phone call as an out. And remember, if you are ever abused or assaulted while on a date, it is not your fault and you can get help.

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Online dating is the new way to date for many people. Like any other part of technology, it has its pros and cons. Keeping your safety a priority, online dating should be fun!

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